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Politically Correct to the Nth Degree Holiday Wishes

:: As received in a recent e-mail, illustrating how far we’ve gone (backwards) in ensuring that no one is ever offended, again, in late December (for those who recognize the calendar with the month “December” in it):

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all…. and a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2005, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make Canada great (not to imply that Canada is necessarily greater that any other country), and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual preference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

In other words, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!!

5 Responses to “Politically Correct to the Nth Degree Holiday Wishes”

  1. Murph Says:

    I hope you’ll excuse me for pointing out that this is a bullshit straw man, and that it has been, for some years now, politically correct to say that you’re not politically correct. With Bill O’Reilly and all sorts of other reactionary nutbars jumping to “defend Christmas” this past season, it’s something of a sore point for me. Someone writing (likely several years ago) a joke Christmas greeting isn’t a reason to worry, believe me.


  2. randy Says:

    No problem, Murph. However, I’m trying to determine if you have aligned me with Bill O’Reilly, which would be the worst insult I’ve received in years. I suspect I’m wrong.

    I don’t think the act of defending Christmas belongs to those of his ilk and other “reactionary nutbars.” What defines said nutbars? The religious right? What about, say, my fellow Catholics, none of whom I’ve seen in the media bitching about this, except for the extreme übernutbars like William Donohue, who to the best of my knowledge represents no Catholics I know. (Oops, sorry, I used “über“, which is on the list of banned words for 2005. My bad.)

    The sore point for me is being on the receiving end of the generic “Happy Holidays” or “Season’s Greeting”. Enough already. I am so bone dead tired of the media being careful not to offend anyone. Now you tell me that reacting to this type of political correctness by being politically incorrect is now politically correct. Good grief.

    It’s feckin’ Christmas time. But no, we must not mention this, because if one person on the planet might be offended, well, we must not permit that to happen. There’s something seriously wrong when retailers do not permit their staff to wish customers Merry Christmas because it’s important to them not to offend said customers, while the store itself is smothered in Christmas decorations. What’s wrong with that picture?

    And you talk about sore points? Sheesh.

    Whatever. Christmas is over. If society wants to take it to the extreme, kill all religious holidays, and celebrate the damn solstice instead (at the risk of offending those who don’t believe in the solstice, mind you.) 😉

  3. Murph Says:

    Who? Who can’t mention it? Why is this an issue? There are plenty of companies that do indeed mention it. In the US, it was a big deal that Macy’s (I believe) wouldn’t allow their employees to say Merry Christmas. Only problem was, this was bullshit. When I was still at London Drugs, they encouraged us to say whatever we were comfortable with, which was usually Merry Christmas, and I can say that I heard that very phrase often this Christmas.

    I say it’s a straw man, and I’ll stand by that. Your post was set off by a forwarded email that I also received, but that I’m pretty sure I remember seeing a few years ago. The whole Defense of Christmas thing has struck me (and others) as a new bugaboo for the Right, so that they can keep the pressure on the Left for loads of silly things and not have a chance to deal with real issues.

    Nothing personal, mind. I wasn’t comparing you to O’Lielly, but I thought it worth noting that he has been squawking a lot about this lately.


  4. randy Says:

    Who can’t mention it? Hapless workers in retail, mostly. It goes way beyond stores like Macy’s.

    Whatever. We can agree to disagree. I hadn’t seen that e-mail before this Christm – er – holiday season.

  5. darcy Says:

    Well…..those of us who come to you as a “Service of the Broward County Board of County Commissioners” in good old FL aren’t allowed to say it, either. For what it’s worth.

    But then, I celebrate the Solstice too ….as a religious holiday no less 😉


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