the pod bay door

One of my (many) annoyances is the trend that began, oh, who knows, in the early 80s perhaps, of parents naming their kids last names that are less than conventional. (Meaning names that are traditionally last names only, unlike my own, Randall, or my brother, Christopher, etc – names that function as first or last names). Or just strange and bizarre names. Or changing one letter to make the name look “cool” (usually means replacing an “i” with a “y”, like Madyson or something equally childish.) Contractions of two names. Whatever. Have you even been shopping somewhere, and you hear a yuppie mom yell something like, “Tyler, Tyson, Mckenzie, we’re leaving now!”. When that happens, I want to slap the parent upside the head and ask them why they decided to inflict such cruelty on their children. (If your name is Tyler, Tyson or Mckenzie, no offense!) I was in Costco once, and the woman behind me had two beautiful little girls – their names were Kennedy and McKinley, after dead presidents or something.

From Rebecca‘s site I found “Baby’s Named a Bad, Bad Thing – A Primer on Parent Cruelty” (Bow towards Chris Issak.) Here you will find not lists of names, but “naming questions and suggestions posted on two different baby naming bulletin boards going back as far as early 2001” Read it, and you will cringe. Would you name your child Denver Kade Lional, Xev Chiana Louise, Vashara Rashea, Kakinston? Speaking of contractions, one woman wants to name her girl Thazel, which is a contraction of Thelma and Hazel. AAGHHHHH! But wait, there’s more.
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I saw The Ring last night, and was generally disappointed. The film stars Naomi Watts (from Mulholland Drive) as a reporter for the Seattle Times-Intelligence, whose 16-year old niece passes away from heart failure. Watts’ sister, her niece’s mother, cannot find any record of a 16-year old girl dying this way, and asks Watts to investigate. She learns that her niece had watched a videotape with three other teenagers at a cabin, and soon discovers that all four of them died at the same hour on the same night. The word is, you watch the tape, you have seven days to live.

The film is marketed as a psychological thriller, and it works in parts, but not in others. I confess that I went to the film hoping to be scared sh*tless, and it didn’t happen, not even close. Dozens of giggling teenagers in the theatre, however, were scared as such. I kept waiting for the movie to kick into second gear, with heightened tension, keeping you on the edge of your seat, but this never happens. Watts gets her ex-husband involved, after she watches the tape. He also watches it (of course), and comes to believe in her fear. They begin tracking down the origin of the tape, which leads them to … never mind!
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