the pod bay door

:: The Directors Guild of America has announced its nominations for Outstanding Directorial Achievement in Feature Film for 2003. One notable absentee is Anthony Minghella, for Cold Mountain. Overall, it hasn’t been the best year for film. Sales of tickets in the USA dropped for the first time since 1991.

:: With the Spirit Rover firmly in place on Mars, the US will now move its search for WMD to the red planet itself. Meanwhile, The Beagle isn’t doing too well.

:: The Writers’ Union of Canada is “aghast” over cuts to Regina’s public library system.

:: I’m a bit cranky tonight. Last night while falling asleep, my right eye began bothering me. This morning I woke to a burning feeling in said right eye, and it has yet to subside. I know, I should have it examined.

:: An interview with Al Franken, author of Lies and The Lying Liars Who Tell Them, is available on the NPR Fresh Air website. Franken just returned from his fourth USO tour, where he entertained US troops in Iraq, Afghanistan, Uzbekistan and Kuwait. Franken tells a number of interesting stories about performing on the tour, and about travelling through the region. Al and I are good friends, btw. Well, not really.

:: Robert tells an interesting and frightening story about his new two-month old daughter, Kasia. She was sick with a cold, and Robert and Mary were instructed by their doctor to take her to the hospital…

:: The annual Google Zeitgeist is out:

The 2003 Year-End Zeitgeist offers a unique perspective on the year’s major events and hottest trends based on more than 55 billion searches conducted over the past year by Google users from around the world. Whether you are tracking the global progression of the latest news or learning about healthy searches in Japan, the 2003 Year-End Zeitgeist enables you to look at the past year through the collective eyes of the world on the Internet.

The term “zeitgeist” comes from the German “Zeit” meaning “time” and “Geist” meaning “spirit”. The term is defined in English by Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate® Dictionary as “the general intellectual, moral, and cultural climate of an era.”

In the Popular Queries Top Ten for Canada, “canadian tire” checked in at #7. Does this reflect a lack of imagination in my countrymen and women? BTW, at #6 was “loft story.” Loft Story??? A French reality TV series that has generated much controversy and protests. I assume it is broadcast in Québec.

:: My mother offers another interesting tale from her childhood. She lived on Selkirk Avenue, in the north end of Winnipeg, in the 1930s and 40s.

On Wednesday nights at our local theatre, which was called the Palace, they would give out dishes, which every woman in the neighbourhood had to have. They would go every week until they had collected the entire set. So after my father would eat his supper, my mother and he would leave for the show.

My sister Alice, who was the oldest of my brothers and sisters, was always in charge of babysitting my brother Roland, me, and the youngest member of our family, Carol. One Wednesday night, my sister Alice got the brainy idea that my brother Roland should dress up like the Hunchback of Notre Dame, and lie in wait between our house and the building next door. As soon as he would see a woman coming down the street, he would jump out from behind the building, and with a pillow stuffed in the back of his shirt, he would slither out from his hiding place looking very scary and making weird noises. Of course it was dark out, and this just added to the fun. We’d be huddled upstairs, looking out our parents’ bedroom window, killing ourselves laughing, as one woman after another would run off screaming.

After scaring off two or three women, he came back in, and we all tried to act as if nothing happened. Had my parents ever found out, we would have been given the what for, believe me. What seemed hilarious back then no longer seems quite so funny to me today. If someone were to do this to me now I would probably have a cardiac arrest as I tend to scare quite easily.

:: From The Guardian, here is a list of 101 things to do in 2004. Anyone notice the error in #21? I see “metrosexual” is already considered very last year, according to #31, and that among the choices men will have in terms of new kinds of masculinity includes “Cheddarosexual”, which means lactose-intolerant urban male. I will not do #62. I want nothing to do with #32. #26 reminds us we’re all getting old. I’ll do #99 next week.

If you need to revisit 2003, do it with a smile by reading Dave Barry’s 2003: A Dave Odyssey. Happy New Year to all who visit my site. Many thanks, have a great year.

:: I’m checking statistics for my site, and decided to see what phrases people are searching that brings them to my site. Here are a few gems:

laugh it up fuzzball – someone searching for Harrison Ford?
cibc sucks – who doesn’t know?
sore shoulder blade – that would be mine, lately
sk8ter shoes – Avril helped me buy them
krispy kreme edmonton – soon, I hope
why cows hate winter – because it’s cold?
my eye hurts – stop sticking needles in it
animal testicles – no comment
the worst version of o holy night – it’s bad, real bad
posh spice saskatchewan – wasn’t aware she’d moved there
funny ebay beanie babies – aren’t they all?
reichardt duck farm – for all your California duck needs
gratuitous umlaut – one too many dots
jimmy mackenzie is hot – could be, but he does nothing for me
winter in google – google is a place, now?
its coming sshhh – walk on your tippy toes
amanda bynes email adress phone – how’d they know she’s my roommate?
teh passion-mel gibson – is that the sequel to The Passion?
shampooed in ketchup – fetish revealed!
my car spun – sorry to hear that
distended stomach worms – watch for their new album, out in January
day bing cosby died – Bing Cosby? Did Bill and Bing have a kid?
lyrics of shout shout let it all out – these are the things I can do without
sack of wet mice – “He’s about as sharp as a…”
beanie baby ex-wife – beanie baby divorces are the worst
bank of montreal sucks – I sense a theme here
frustrated pissed off screaming – try Zoloft or Prozac
ass wipe greeting cards – new Hallmark division?
the boobs of jennifer lopes – can’t anyone spell anymore?
bill o reilly door mat – I’ll take one
self-cleaning dinner table – I’ll take one
the pain the pain – Dr Smith is in the house
rocky and bullwinkle in edmonton – they put on a great show!
the actress of the ord of the rings – “Ord of the Rings”? Can’t anyone spell anymore?
randy randy randy randy randy randy lyrics – what?
stainless steel testicles – must belong to Ah-nold
where can i find information on my eye and why it hurts? – I told you, take out the needles
randy librarian alberta – i’m right here
free funny christmas vidios – spelling, please!
the matrix blows jon stewart – I hope he’s ok

The internet is a weird, wacky, wonderful place.