the pod bay door

:: It is becoming unprecedentedly difficult for anyone, anyone at all, to keep a secret.

In the age of the leak and the blog, of evidence extraction and link discovery, truths will either out or be outed, later if not sooner. This is something I would bring to the attention of every diplomat, politician and corporate leader: the future, eventually, will find you out. The future, wielding unimaginable tools of transparency, will have its way with you. In the end, you will be seen to have done that which you did.

The above excerpt is from William Gibson, writing in the NYTimes, brought to my attention some weeks ago by Derryl. It’s a fascinating observation written on the 100th anniversary of George Orwell’s birth, and a sad reflection on the state of privacy in the world. (Registration required for NYTimes.)

:: Ever get the feeling that life will never slow down, no matter what you do to change that? It’s a quiet, lovely July 2nd evening, the sun still shining despite the time being 9:53 MDT. The house is quiet after an activity- and family-filled weekend, my 50th birthday being the excuse for the gathering. Tonight I wanted to see 28 Days Later, but by 9:15 I was too exhausted. I want to slow down life, but life isn’t listening right now. (Speaking of 28 Days Later, watch the first six minutes of the movie right here. I can’t wait to see it.)

:: This busy 4-day weekend continues. My folks will be here until July 2, when I return to work. I’ve been consuming too much of my mother’s cooking, and can hear the YMCA rear-driven cross trainers calling my name. I registered for another Pilates class, beginning July 3rd. Saw The Italian Job today, and Moonlight Mile tonight. Things falling apart in my house, including a toilet, a folding door, and leaky taps, were all repaired by this evening. A $110 cheque I thought I’d shredded by accident was found some time later – turns out I shredded the claim form instead.

:: Have you noticed how things go missing? Recently, maybe a week ago, I found an envelope with pictures of a few cousins, which I’d misplaced for months. Now I can’t find it again.

:: So what happens now that I’m on the flipside of 50? Do I begin finding myself, do I find that elusive woman, do I treat myself better, stop beating myself up all the time, celebrate life, find joy, discover happiness, reduce debt?

:: On my mind: I’d like to try acting, learn to play more instruments, like maybe the saxophone, drums, better guitar, smile more often.

:: It’s Day Three of a four day long weekend. July 1st is a national holiday in Canada, and the outgoing provost of the University of Alberta closed the campus today as a gesture of goodwill after eight years on the job. My folks are still here, until the morning of July 3rd, and my mother is cooking up some spaghetti carbonera at the moment. I am most definitely eating too much food, feeling stuffed all the time, and I haven’t been exercising.

I know, none of the above is too interesting. Saw The Italian Job today, after suspending disbelief, it proves to be a rather fun, mindless summer movie. I’m looking forward to seeing Ahnold in Terminator 3, and will most likely indulge in Legally Blonde 2.

:: It is a few minute past midnight on June 28, 2003. I was born at 12:06 AM Mountain Time, on June 28, 1953, so the moment of turning 50 just passed by. No, I don’t feel any different. Earlier today I received wonderful birthday wishes from my colleagues. Tonight, I was picked up by Geoff and Kim, and driven to Kathryn’s for dinner. We arrived a bit late, and entered the house. Honestly, I thought we were meeting for dinner. Once in the house, I noticed bowls of chips and cheezies on the table rather than table settings and suspected something was up. I looked around the corner and saw two friends and colleagues, Pam (with her daughter, Rebecca), and Kathy, grinning at me. I turned around and saw more friends and colleagues descending the staircase, including Kenton, whom I learned afterwards had a hand in the organization of the evening (like e-mailing my Dad!). Kathryn then told me to check in the pantry for spices or something, so I opened the door, and saw my Mom and Dad, and my brother Chris and his girlfriend Debra, hiding inside.

I was sort of numb and stunned at that point, very happy to see everyone, and a bit shocked to see my family (although I did think they were “up to something” this week). Chris brought three Jeanne’s cakes from Calgary (which are flown in from Winnipeg, where they are baked the same day); in all, there were five cakes! I received a number of nice presents, cards, and good wishes from everyone. And all of this happening before my actual birthday, which began a few minutes ago!

We had a great evening, and I thank everyone who was there, and who took the time to organize the party, and for Kathryn for providing the locale, and for cooking me a quick but delicious asparagus and scallops appetizer!

So now I’m fifty. Sheesh. And there are so many reasons to be grateful. I am blessed with amazing, caring friends and family. Later today I will spend time with my parents and brother and his girlfriend, and enjoy the day. For now, thanks to all of you, with my love and appreciation.

Although my birthday isn’t for a few more hours (12:06 am MDT, June 28), I have received some generous birthday wishes from my fellow staff members here at the library. This included chocolates, an Irish beanie baby bear named Erin, a beautiful cake, a few silly gifts like an over-the-hill emergency medical bracelet, a few cards, and an office filled with balloons, banners and a poster. Geoff, using his PDA, recorded a few moments for posterity and for the archives, viewable in QuickTime.

:: Thanks for letting me self-indulge a bit in the previous entry. Already I’ve received some early birthday greetings from colleagues at work, who decorated a bit of my office with balloons, inflatable guitars, and a neat poster with pix and commentary. I think I’m feeling better about all of this. It is difficult to mope about a birthday when you blessed enough to be surrounded by so many people who care about you. For this I am always grateful.